There are some days when I wish to have my own place. Secure, private, quiet, mine. Place where I will not be restricted by rules of other people; where I will not have to live in an interior that does not bring me joy, and it does not function in a way that it is useful to me.

There was a period in my life, when I was living in a place by myself. As years went by, I slowly started remodelling rooms to fit my needs. Because this place was rented, I couldn’t let my imagination free, and had to follow many restrictions, such as “no pictures on the walls, “cannot change colour of interior” cannot replace built in furniture” etc. Anything that I moved in, should be moved out at the date of termination of my contract. But even then, I noticed that I have some basic needs that could be fulfilled and make me feel ‘at home’.

I rediscovered my love to music and dance. I have dedicated a whole room to it. It was kept almost empty and used only for the following purposes:

  • listen to music – as shown on the picture, I would turn on a CD and just relax on the floor or an armchair, with a glass of drink for an hour or two
  • dance – turning levels up made my body want to move. High quality audio and wide patch of empty floor space – nothing else mattered in those moments.
  • exercise – having wide area empty floor and source of energetic music encouraged me to be more active at home.
  • photography – I set up my lights, tripods, soft boxes etc in the spacious room and experiment, playing a role of photographer and model at the same time. It was creative and fun.

Another room was dedicated only for sleep. Huge king-size bed filled 80% of the room (it was a small room), allowing me to only fit a wardrobe. No TV nor PC were allowed in that bedroom. I invested my time in finding best mattress for my body, and bed frame that was functional and pleasing to the eye – dark brown, heavy wood – I loved it! 1/3 of our lives we spend in a bed, so our body deserve to feel comfortable.

My third room was a dining/living space. Solid, chunky, rustic style table with chairs was on one side of the room. A simple bookshelf and one armchair occupied a corner next to balcony door. The last piece of necessary furniture was a Photowall, which I built myself to exhibit my photographs and gear. As mentioned before, I could not make any permanent modifications to the flat, so I had to design my wall in a way, that could be disassembled and would leave no sign of its existence. These types of projects made me realise how much I wanted to have some freedom in creating and adjusting my environment to my own needs.

So why did I moved out, if I made myself such a nice place? Unfortunately there were number of reasons, which together forced me to rethink my priorities.

  • increasing cost of rent – my landlord was periodically charging me more
  • pay to someone else pocket – all those years I payed for rent could cover 1/3 of the mortgage, if I would buy a house instead of rent.
  • no parking, no space for car – many times I spent lost of time searching for a place to leave my car many streets away from my place
  • no garden – if I didn’t feel like going into the public, I was stuck at home
  • flat – yep, it was a flat with shared stair case and neighbours above and below my place

As much as I liked the place and location, freedom and silence, I could not afford to like this, and at the end of the day, stay with nothing when Landlord decides to sell the flat or move in himself.

Now, by reducing the costs of living, I can save more for my own place. It is a terrifying commitment to me, but I think the positives outweigh the risks. Being able to dedicate space to things that make me happy, to projects that inspire me to leave my bed, and to feel secure and have always somewhere to come back is worth the effort. I am also hoping to move into city that will make me want to go out -> Portsmouth <- but this story for another time 🙂

If I only could make this happen…